


Not Enough

by Mirenelle



Series: The One Where Itachi Grows A Spine [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Cheating, Heartbreak, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25771087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirenelle/pseuds/Mirenelle
Summary: Itachi muses his heartbreak after losing Shisui to Sasuke.
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Sasuke/Uchiha Shisui
Series: The One Where Itachi Grows A Spine [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104026
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	Not Enough

So, this was what true heartbreak felt like. Not anger and screaming. Not loud pain and visible heartbreak. It was something different. Something more muted and distant but still raw. The hurt was there. It was always going to be there. It felt fresh and sharp, like a physical wound. It was festering and threatening to consume Itachi. 

When the rumors first started spreading, Itachi had not believed them. How could he? The very idea was ludicrous. He had been so caught up in his own fantasy he failed to see the reality staring him in the face. Now he could only watch as his entire understanding of Shisui and Sasuke shattered around him. He had been blind. 

Was he a fool?

Shisui and Sasuke…it felt wrong to think about. How had he missed it? Had he been so blind to not see the signs? How Shisui's eyes lingered on Sasuke or how Sasuke would look back, lips curving into that damned smirk. That smirk that spoke of promises and pride. He had always managed to win Itachi over with that smile as a child. Even as a young man it served him well.

Itachi didn't know who had managed to hurt him more. Shisui, the man he had loved since before he understood what it meant or Sasuke, the most important person in his life.

Kakashi tried to warn him.

Izumi as well, but Itachi had been so arrogant, _so_ naive in thinking that Shisui and Sasuke would never do that to him. Would never betray him and hurt him so deeply.

_"They would never do that. I know them. Shisui loves me. Sasuke is my brother."_

How wrong he had been.

Shisui's love for him was a ticking time bomb. Everyone knew he was sleeping with Itachi and they all suspected he wanted Sasuke. All he thought of when looking at Itachi was how close to ruin their clan had come to. How only Danzo’s untimely death had given them the time to make peace. Sasuke’s devotion to Itachi was outweighed by his own heart. His own desires which allowed him to grow beyond brotherly devotion. Both Sasuke and Shisui followed their own hearts. Damn those who would stand in the way. 

  
  


_"I love him, Itachi. I'm sorry but it will always be him…_ "

  
  


It was too much. Itachi couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. It was like a nightmare Itachi couldn't wake up from. Shisui's excuses and Sasuke’s posturing only seemed to cement it all the more. He was a fool. Naive and so _stupid_ to think he and Shisui...they never really had a chance. Itachi was so blinded...so foolish to think such fairytales. 

Suddenly it was Sasuke’s bed Shisui was warming, it was Sasuke’s side that Shisui remained at.

_"We can still be friends, Itachi; that doesn't have to change."_

Was he not enough? He didn't know what he had done wrong. Was it because Sasuke was better looking? Because he wasn't as awkward or closed off as Itachi? Was his unshakable confidence and quick wit what drew Shisui in?

Itachi looked at himself. At his too bony hands and his exhausted face. He hadn't been enough. He wasn't handsome enough or bold enough. Boring, plain and tepid when in comparison to his vibrant, lovely brother. Not enough. Not for Shisui to love or for Sasuke to care about enough to keep his eyes from wandering to the man Itachi loved.

_"Why can't you just be happy for us, Itachi? He doesn't want you. Why can't you accept that he loves me?"_

Perhaps it was childish of Itachi. To have such resentment and hurt bubbling in him. It wasn't as if he and Shisui had ever made anything official. Shisui would only offer him kisses in the shadows of the trees, and would only come to his bed after a particularly difficult mission. Had Itachi misunderstood their relationship? That it wasn't love Shisui felt with him but mere comfort.

Shisui never kissed Itachi like that. Never held him with such open devotion. When Shisui kissed Itachi, was it Sasuke’s lips he imagined? When Shisui fucked Itachi, was he thinking about fucking Sasuke? Or about Sasuke on top of him? 

He was open with Sasuke. Linking fingers with him while on a busy street and kissing him with no hesitation. All the things Itachi had dreamed of, but never asked for. Two confident, lovely men who were proud to be at each other's side. How could Itachi ever compare? He was a shadow in comparison to their fire. 

They could be open with each other as Itachi could never be. Sasuke had the freedom of choice as the second son, while Itachi would never truly be his own person. Would never be anything but a pawn to his village and a tool for his clan. Only good enough to use. Never good enough to love.

Sasuke had long since lost that childlike devotion to Itachi. Had instead settled for something akin to cold resentment. Itachi had been an obstacle, a constant phantom he was put against and could never beat.

Until now.

He did it so easily. With just a smile and that easy self confidence that Itachi could only dream of possessing. He had managed to do what Itachi could never do.

Have Shisui Uchiha love him back.


End file.
